Long Distance Car Travel With Kids

How to travel really long distances in the car with kids?

Having managed very long car journeys, many times over the years, with a variety of ages and stages of kids, I've got a few thoughts to share on this topic. As a mum of four, living on a remote Scottish island and with family and lifelong friends in the south of England, our epic car journeys south have been somewhat legendary and sometimes for the wrong reasons as we made mistakes along the way. Travelling with kids requires intensive planning/packing, strategic thinking and the patience of Marie Kondo.

As we all know children and small spaces are to be avoided. Between the ages of 18 months to 10 years old, they all seem to have varying doses of hyperactivity during the average day, sprinkled with a decent sized layer of impatience and a good dollop of generally not understanding the concept of time and its a recipe not for the faint hearted family.

The promise of adventure closer to home and the simplicity of a British holiday rather than all the inconveniences and stresses of air travel is usually what leads us to pack up the family estate, but with one major hurdle... the car journey to get there and back again.

AIR or LAND?

Firstly, before you think long car journeys with kids sound's like hell on earth, lets remind ourselves how much better car travel can be than jumping on that plane.

Airports means time spent queuing (the kids initially hopping with excitement or bleary eyed and moaning from an early start), remember those cold sweats induced by luggage weigh ins, hoop jumping at security (possibly with a delightful swig of your baby’s bottle of milk to prove its not explosive – do they still do make you do that?) - and all for the pleasure of you and your kids being strapped in to an even smaller space with nowhere to move for hours on end.

Combating the inevitable child melt down on a plane without being able to actually move from your seat, is a badge of honor worn by most worn out parents. Once done successfully its a triumph beyond most other people's comprehension. Even if you've done it once though, don't get any comfort from the idea that it will ever work again, even an hour later. Yes plane travel is on a different scale and respect due to the long haul families.

PLANE TALES

A friend of mine had been trying to settle her screaming 3 year old daughter, Isla on a plane for about 40 minutes when, without asking her, the stewardess appeared and handed Isla a bottle of Ribena. Isla stopped crying immediately and happily gulped down to cheers and clapping from the rest of the passengers before her mum even had a chance to politely refuse the sugar filled drink which

she had so far carefully avoided so far, in her health conscious parenting. The mixture of embarrassment and rage of being mum shamed, still stays with her.

While we are on that topic, filling the kids with sugar treats during travelling is a tempting distraction tactic, but proceed with caution, short term gain for longer term pain. However we all do what we must, to get through it. No family holiday was ever ruined by a few jelly babies.

One of my own memories of air travel with kids was without my husband. He was driving the family car and dog home through Spain at the time, so we could all be abroad for 3 months, a legit excuse, but yes you could say I definitely had the short straw. I was 7 months pregnant with a 3 year old and a 5 year old. My 5 year old daughter had woken the night before with tummy pains and this had meant a few quick trips to the loo. The plane travel the next morning could not be changed but it did mean as we buckled up for landing, she had to sit sobbing as I explained she couldn't go to the loo but just had use her brothers nappy she had been forced to wear. She was old enough to care deeply about being clean and was so upset.

ECO HOLIDAYING

As families who are only too aware of the mess we are leaving our planet in for our kids to sort - will they ever forgive us? - we must consider the appeal of a guilt free holiday with a lower carbon footprint than any flights to Europe and beyond. Staycations are growing for a reason and as a family with an eye on our children's future planet, we must start caring about our holiday choices.

According to the www.carbonfootprint.com website: A medium sized diesel car travelling 500 miles - equivalent of return trip to Cornwall from Surrey 0.14 tonnes of CO2e

A return flight from London Gatwick to Fuerteventura based on one passenger0.86 tonnes of CO2e

So the idea of 10 hours in a car with kids... compared to the plane, its the best option right?

Dare to Dream of the Destination

The other things we must remember, before we get caught up and brought down by all the logistics of long car journeys with kids is the destination. Stay focused on the reason for the arduous travel (hopefully its a good one), perhaps its to be reunited with loved ones, Christmas gatherings, Center Parcs fun, an Air BnB by the sea or in our case arriving home to a remote Scottish island where wild kids, can finally run free. Having a significant carrot dangling at the destination is a something to hold tight, especially through those dark moments with miles still to go.

How Memories are Made

Put the kids in their familiar spot in the family car, buckle up and hope for the best as you embark on a long distance road trip. Perhaps throw in winding rural roads, rubbish service stations, the general danger of road travel (how do you keep the seat belts on a raging 4 year old who keeps taking it off in the fast lane of the M6) plus mum and dad ‘negotiating’ the best travel routes and road works (with no evidence of any work actually being done) and you are in for a memorable time.

Top Tips to avoid Travel Tantrums

Here are a few troubleshooting tips to get you through and hopefully arrive at your British Staycation relaxed and ready for a great holiday.

Start Early (like really early)

If you've got over 6 hours to driving, in our case usually 10 hrs +, an early start can't be recommended highly enough. It’s my biggest tip for a successful road trips with kids. The hour’s between 3am and 7.30am is like forgotten time. Empty roads and hopefully snoozing kids means miles fly by and the day only really starts about 8am when the stop start of a rush hour motorway traffic wakes up the sleepers (hopefully you've got past any major cities) and guess what? You are half way there.

How to transfer sleeping kids into the car in the early hours successfully.

1. Get up before them and tiptoe around, make sure you are dressed, shoes on and ready to walk out the door, before even being tempted to touch the kids bedroom door handle.

2. Go outside and start the car and get the heating on. A frosty morning and a cold car, is the first thing that is going to wake your snuggled up brood.

3. For babies, make sure you buy a sleeping bag with a built in seat belt hole and put them to bed in it the night before. That way you can lift them seamlessly from the cot to the car seat, warm and cosy and only need to change the nappy at normal time in the morning with hopefully several hundred miles under your belt.

4. Duvets and pillows - if possible lift your little ones in their warm duvets and pillows straight into the car. Maneuvering the seat belt around them correctly without any duvet (important safety point), can be a masterful operation with a sleeping child but so worth it if you can execute successfully.

5. Set off, quickly and quietly. No slamming doors, absolutely no music and zero chat for grown ups. If you do have a waker, don’t talk to them other than to say

'Its not morning yet, go back to sleep' and pray quietly. Hopefully the motion of the car and the darkness outside will soon send them back to sleep. If not, for that early riser who is impossibly excited already, put them in the front seat, away from the other sleepers or hook them into an Ipad with headphones and try damage limitation. Don’t let the waker, wake the sleepers.

6. Fill up on fuel the day before. Getting miles on the clock early doors is the aim of the game, not waking the kids as you fill up at a flood lit garage an hour into the journey.

Our experience is to travel almost the length of the UK from the south of England to a Scottish island so hopefully your car journey is shorter. However I still believe an early start is the key even if you stretch it to 5am. In our case it means we can usually be past Birmingham and sometimes Manchester before the commuter's jump into their cars and clog up the roads.

Service Station Stops

Try to spin out your first stop at services.

As soon as the kids realise a stop in a fun filled service station is on the cards and you've done your first after an hour, expect the hourly chant from the back of 'When are we stopping next?'

Breakfast Stop

Time to change any nappies and stretch those sleepy legs. Plus get a coffee for the driver or swap driving. My husband and I always swap around driving, we both know who's got the tougher job. Give me motorway driving over placating grumpy kids, any day.

Motorway service stations seem to be getting better all the time and the food options for kids, pretty good.

The Tebay Services (www.tebayservices.com - link to video?) off the M6 is the ultimate in the UK in my opinion. Owned by the Westmoorland family, with food straight from the family farm, farm shop and local products, even a pond with ducks and an indoor soft play. Motorway services heaven. Make sure you stop here if heading to Scotland because great services dry up dramatically from here onwards. If heading north of the border, packed food is advisable unless you want a Road Chef loyalty card.

This might also be the time on a full tummy to give those dodgy car travellers a travel sickness pill. I only discovered these recently due speaking to a fellow island mum, who also had to take her kids on the winding roads in west of Scotland but now I recognise their value. Sick bags are a necessity even as a back up and we've too often been caught without one easily to hand and as we all know, you need the reflexes of a Sensei Wu to find one in time.

Service Stations not your thing?

My husband's aunt had some alternative advice to avoid motorway services. Find a brilliant pub a few miles off the motorway, ideally with a play park nearby and spend your break there instead. Even fuel up more cheaply away from the motorway. We've always taken the approach of only stopping when absolutely necessary, otherwise a 10 hour road trip can easily merge into a few days. So the idea of adding even a few miles to an already huge mileage seems so reckless. Those shorter, but nevertheless painful, car journeys could incorporate this idea. There is something so civilised about making the journey part of the holiday too, why rush? Oh yes, its 10 hours in the car with kids, lets just get it done.

Boredom

I'm not going to preach to the converted. You know what works for your kids. Ipads, audio storybooks, I Spy, snacks, memory games the list goes on. Just make sure you don't throw everything at them in the first few hours, spread out the ideas, games and treats and if nothing else it will give you something to focus on. With more than one kid, headphones for ideally separate devices are a must too to avoid bickering. Oh and make sure you've got movies downloaded on the device so you are not reliant on 4G especially in rural places.

Sometimes there is also nothing wrong and quite a lot right, with a bit of mindfulness. Don’t be afraid to tell the kids to just look at the window and be, well a bit bored. We all did as kids without being stuck to a device, (I remember watching raindrops travelling down the little rivers on the car window for hours) and in a crazy, constantly stimulating world, a bit of boredom and wandering thoughts, can be so beneficial for little minds.

'Children need to sit in their own boredom for the world to become quiet enough that they can hear themselves' Dr Vanessa Lapoint.

The Melbourne Child Psychology and School Psychology Services, goes on to say 'A creative imagination and problem solving ability are important life skills, so its good for children to have these moments of 'boredom' and having to find ways to entertain themselves. And it will also encourage the ability to be quiet and mindful as an adult, without the constant need to be on-the-go or entertained.'

Are We There Yet?

The Sat Nav map is a great solution to one of the most irritating parenting question of all time. These days, I just point at the map and the kids know where to look before even being tempted to lets those words cross their lips. Following that arrow is can also fill at least 20 minutes.

The Emergency Stop

The ultimate advantage that car travel will always have over the plane, is the ability to just, stop. The inconsolable, angry, tired or travel sick child can be comforted so much more easily with space, fresh air and supplies. Put the brakes on at any time when melt downs are escalating and emotions are running high (or dad is about to lose it) - Welcome Break never felt more welcoming.

Last Resort

We've also been known to just turn the music up.

If you just need to get there, you've stopped too many times already, the kids have everything they need, food, water, entertainment and they are just fed up, miles still need to be driven, so its just a case of sucking it up and turn up the tunes... without the additional stress of tutting strangers or rouge Stewardesses dishing out the Ribena.

Pain and Pleasure

Its so true that after a bit of discomfort and boredom, that a big soft bed, stretching of legs and maybe if you are really lucky, an empty beach in the sunshine when you get there, is so much more appreciated. Ahh the delight of arrival.

‘All good things come to those who wait’ – English poet Lady Mary Montgomerie Currie (1843-1905)

In my experience those special holiday places, are always a bit of a secret, like the remote Scottish island we live on, and which give you the space and peace you might be looking for as a family. They are always just a bit further off the beaten track for a reason. A memory has just come into my mind, of a beach in Thailand I spent a month living on in 1997 (long before the movie of a similar theme came out) which in the same way started as just a whisper in a Hong Kong youth hostel, about a special secret beach in Thailand that you couldn’t tell anyone about. It couldn’t be reached by road and you had to find an unmarked fishing boat in a hidden cove to get there. Magical times and of course, well worth the journey off the beaten track to find it.

‘Audentes Fortuna Iuvat’ Latin Proverb (Fortune Favours the Bold)

Don’t let the thought of a long car journey with your kids, put you off the adventure altogether, just remind yourself how comfortable our lives actually are instead - a train journey in China or India is also a good reality check for this. There are so many great adventures to have on a British soil from the comfort of the family car.

I hope the destinations you find are as magical as ours have been and you and your kids breathe in the relief, joy and excitement of arrival. Family holidays are so special in this busy, fast world and even the car journey will be a fond memory in time… it might just take a bit longer than you think.